Every Good Porn Star Must Be Able To:
1. Make interesting facial expressions.
2. Make lots of noises.
3. Make coherent sentences using up to three swear words at once.
4. Last.
5. Kiss without the awkward bumping of noses.
6. Remember his/her/their name(s).
7. Stomach the alcohol.
8. Have at least one "authentic" accent.
9. Get undressed in under twenty seconds.
10. Fake any of the above.
Ten Perks of Being a Teen:
1. Explosive zits.
2. The ability to whine about anything and blame it on hormones.
3. The ability to whine about anything and blame it on growing pains.
4. The ability to whine about anything.
5. Eating anything and everything, with room for much more.
6. "Where are you going?" "Out." "Oh." Enough said.
7. Using (hormones/school/friends/age/time of day/day of the week/day of the month/current astrological configurations) as an excuse to avoid our families.
8. Using (hormones/school/friends/age/time of day/day of the week/day of the month/current astrological configurations) as an excuse for why we were stupid and reckless.
9. Staying awake for up to a week with little to no side effects.
10. Consuming massive amounts of caffeine and sugar with little to no side effects.
11. Disregarding the rules. Because we can.
The Six People Who Should Get OFF MY FACEBOOK FLAIR:
1. Justin Bieber
2. Robert Pattinson
3. Taylor Swift
4. Joe Jonas
5. Nick Jonas
6. Kevin Jonas
No comments:
Post a Comment