Rereads, or the Listings of Mr. Bradley ii

Going through my shelves in a halfhearted attempt to reorganize things, I instead started saying "I need to reread that!"

To everything.

The highlights:

"Labyrinth" ~Kate Mosse
"Harry Potter" series ~J.K. Rowling
The Inheritance Cycle ~Christopher Paolini
His Dark Materials ~Philip Pullman
"A Million Little Pieces" ~James Frey
"Prozac Nation" ~Elizabeth Wurtzel
The Bartimaeus Trilogy ~Jonathan Stroud
The Hitchhiker's Trilogy ~Douglas Adams
"The Divine Comedy" ~Dante
"Myst" ~Rand/Robyn Miller
"A Series of Unfortunate Events" ~Lemony Snicket
"The Lovely Bones" ~Alice Sebold
The Thursday Next novels ~Jasper Fforde
"Jane Eyre" ~Charlotte Brontë
"Fly By Night" ~Frances Hardinge
"Elantris" ~Brandon Sanderson
"Life of Pi" ~Yann Martel
"Confessions of A Shopaholic" ~Sophia Kinsella
"Thirteen Reasons Why" ~Jay Asher
"The Outcasts of 19 Schuyler Place" ~E.L. Konigsburg
"The View From Saturday" ~E.L. Konigsburg
The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel ~Michael Scott
"Spindle's End" ~Robin McKinley
"Once Upon A Marigold" ~Jean Ferris
"Chasing Vermeer" ~Blue Balliet
"The Bar Code Tattoo" ~Suzanne Weyn
"The Hunger Games" ~Suzanne Collins
"Abarat" ~Clive Barker
"The Year of Secret Assignments" ~Jaclyn Moriarty
"Sahara Special" ~Esmé Raji Codell
"The Realm of Possibility" ~David Levithan

"Bieber Turns Teen Porn Star", or the Listings of Mr. Bradley i

Every Good Porn Star Must Be Able To:
1. Make interesting facial expressions.
2. Make lots of noises.
3. Make coherent sentences using up to three swear words at once.
4. Last.
5. Kiss without the awkward bumping of noses.
6. Remember his/her/their name(s).
7. Stomach the alcohol.
8. Have at least one "authentic" accent.
9. Get undressed in under twenty seconds.
10. Fake any of the above.

Ten Perks of Being a Teen:
1. Explosive zits.
2. The ability to whine about anything and blame it on hormones.
3. The ability to whine about anything and blame it on growing pains.
4. The ability to whine about anything.
5. Eating anything and everything, with room for much more.
6. "Where are you going?" "Out." "Oh." Enough said.
7. Using (hormones/school/friends/age/time of day/day of the week/day of the month/current astrological configurations) as an excuse to avoid our families.
8. Using (hormones/school/friends/age/time of day/day of the week/day of the month/current astrological configurations) as an excuse for why we were stupid and reckless.
9. Staying awake for up to a week with little to no side effects.
10. Consuming massive amounts of caffeine and sugar with little to no side effects.
11. Disregarding the rules. Because we can.

The Six People Who Should Get OFF MY FACEBOOK FLAIR:
1. Justin Bieber
2. Robert Pattinson
3. Taylor Swift
4. Joe Jonas
5. Nick Jonas
6. Kevin Jonas